Ace Weekly

What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. Come on! Evil! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate it. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Oh, come on!

-Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The plan Thursday night at ArtsPlace is relatively simple. Buy a bachelor, save a puppy, and fight evil. You see it is that time of year again. The time of year when the industrious fighters of evildoers and purveyors of justice, also known as Ace Weekly staff, round up ten of the most eligible bachelors in Central Kentucky and auction them off. Of course, you may be asking yourself how the puppies and the evil fit in. Well, the auction proceeds go to Woodstock Animal Foundation (promoting rescue, adoption, and low-cost spay-neuter). That's how you save a puppy. With the money, Woodstock can go out and save more puppies, dogs, cats, kittens, etc. Otherwise they would die and that is just evil. Come on, do you really want that on your conscience?

So, how do we do it? I'm glad you asked. You see, at Ace, if there is one thing we know about: it is being single. We have, combined, over 100 years of solid single expertise. And, being the giving people that we are, we use this expertise to benefit you, our valued reader. Not everyone is going to be whisked off to France to vie for the attraction of Joe "duh" Millionaire. Not everyone is going to have the opportunity to make out in a hot tub with The Bachelor. But, for a relatively modest sum, you can buy one of our 10 quality Bluegrass Bachelors, a group a bit more classy than you will find on reality television. This year's crop is some of our best work yet. You see, these guys don't just drop into our laps. It takes hours and hours of painstaking research to weed out the wannabes and make sure that what you see is the cream of the crop. We have among others, a doctor, a lawyer, a two time Harlin Hill award winner, a law enforcement officer, and a master brewerbrewer, people, brewer, get you mind out of the gutter.

And the thing to remember is this night is not just for the ladies. Oh no, it's for the single guys as well. There are only 10 Bluegrass Bachelors, so there are going to be some unhappy girls at the end of the night. Girls that will need a shoulder to cry on. Girls who will be looking for "consolation prizes." Girls who want to have a date on Valentine's Day so bad they will even agree to go see Daredevil with you. (I am serious about that last one by the way. Any takers?) Anyway, if you are age 21 or over, there should be no reason for you to be at home. We're going to have drinks. We're going to have food. And we are going to have a good time. So, take the plunge. Swim around. Enjoy yourself. And, ladies, remember to bring your checkbook. We have some puppies to save, some evil to fight, and 10 Bluegrass Bachelors who are looking for a good home. -KWF

Meet the Bachelors:

This bird's for you

Christopher Bird

Age: Thirtysomething
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Vitals: 5'9"/ 185 lbs.
Education: Degree in marketing from University of Oklahoma; minor in psychology. Diploma from the Siebel Institute of Technology in brewing technology, Chicago. Sitting my masters in brewing and distillation from Heriot-Watt, Edinburgh, Scotland.
Employment: Master Brewer with Kentucky Ale
Originally from: Chicago
Favorite local restaurant: Holly Hill Inn
Last movie you rented: I do not have a TV or a VCR
CD in your vehicle right now: My rack plays six: Return of the Grievous Angel (Tribute to Gram Parsons), The Pixies BBC Tapes, Billie Holiday, The Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street, Willie Nelson Red Headed Stranger, and Bob Mould Workbook.
Last book read: Theodore Rex
Drink you would buy a girl in a bar: Anything she wanted.
Ideal date under $20: Picnic in the Red River Gorge.
Dream concert you'd like to attend: The original Pogues as a warmup for U2 at McCarthy's Irish Pub on St. Patrick's Day.
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: I don't know, Billy Elliot?
How do you feel knowing anybody who shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? I feel like I am worth about $50.

Fill in the blank:
1.Halle Berry is sexy, but Ursula Andress is sexier.
2.Every afternoon I like to read the newspaper.

Short Answer:
1.What exactly does your job entail? I am the Brew Master for Alltech's Lexington Brewing Co. I manage the brewery, formulate the recipes, oversee quality control, and am responsible for a small brewing staff.
2.Why should I choose Kentucky Ale? The night I saw YOU getting into your pints, it was because it was free. OK, guilty as charged. What about for everyone else? You should buy one because it is the freshest beer in the market made with quality ingredients by loving hands just down the street.
3.I know you are a Master Brewer, but are you also Master of Your Domain? No.

Guys who make passes

Dusty Bonner

Age: 24
Status: Single, never married, no kids.
Vitals:6'1"/ 225 lbs.
Education: Bachelor's from Valdosta State
Employment: Quarterback for the Lexington Horsemen
Originally from: Valdosta, GA
Favorite local restaurant: Charlie Brown's
Last movie you rented: We Were Soldiers
CD in you vehicle right now: Kenny Chesney's Greatest Hits
Last Book you read: The Junction Boys
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: Some sort of wine
Ideal date for under $20: Cooking out
Dream concert you'd like to attend: Kenny Chesney. Which I will be attending.
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: The Wedding Planner
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? No.
How does it feel knowing anybody who shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? A little scary, but hey, it's for a good cause.

Fill in the Blank:
1.Cindy Crawford is sexy, but Britney Spears is sexier.
2.Every afternoon, I like to relax and take a little time for myelf.

Short Answer:
1. You spent some of training camp with the Atlanta Falcons and quite possibly the biggest story in the NFL this year, QB Mike Vick. Is he as amazing in person as he was on TV? He is unbelievable. I saw him do things that nobody else can do.
2.What is the best part about being back in Kentucky? My friends I still have here. Kentucky is a great place.
3.For the Horsemen's first season in the National Indoor Football League, I have the over/under on your touchdown passes at 35. What should I take? The over. What did you say, 35? Take the over. I hope it's the over.

All about anatomy

Dr. Rodney Mann

Age: 38
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Height/Weight: 5'10''/ 155 lbs.
Education: BS from University of Kentucky, Medical Degree from University of Louisville
Employment: Founder, President, CEO, and sole physician at Thoroughbred Allergy and Asthma Center
Originally from: Corbin, KY
Favorite local restaurant: Merrick Inn
Last movie you rented: A.I. Artificial Intelligence
CD in your vehicle right now: Miles Davis, Kind of Blue
Last book you read: The Book of Revelation by Rupert Thomson
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: None. I do not bribe women to talk to me.
Ideal date for under $20: Shakespeare in the Park
Dream concert you would like to attend: A reunion of The Police
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: Adaptation
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? No. Then it wouldn't be a secret.
How does it feel knowing anybody with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? Compared to starting a new specialty medical practice in Lexington, this is a walk in the park.

Fill in the blank:
1.Alexa Gromko is sexy, but Jennifer Nime is sexier.
2.Every afternoon I like to do some type of exercise.

Short Answer:
1.Tell us about your practice: It is the first new viable allergy practice in Lexington in over 40 years. I'm board certified by the American Board of Allergy Immunology. I did my allergy training at National Jewish Medical and Research Center in Denver, CO. It is the number-one ranked medical center for respiratory and immunologic conditions by U.S. News and World Report for the past five years. I treat patients of all ages. I have one satellite clinic in Corbin, where I see patients every Thursday.
2.Do you belong to any organizations? I am a member of LYPA, the Kentucky Medical Society, the Lexington Medical Society, the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology, and the American College of Physicians. I actively support the American Lung Association, God's Pantry, and Actor's Guild of Lexington.
3. You attended UK for your undergrad and UL for Med. School. Where do your basketball loyalties lie? I root for both teams, but my ultimate allegiance lies with the Wildcats.
4.Which is a better "Doctor" song, "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe or, "Doctor, Doctor" by The Thompson Twins? Neither, it is "Smooth Operator" by Sade.

Luck O' The Irish

Noel Murphy

Age: 34
Status: Single, never married, no kids.
Height/Weight: 5'6"/ 150 lbs.
Education: High school grad, and attended Irish National Stud in Ireland
Employment: Owner of a horse farm
Originally from: Ireland. I have lived in Kentucky for the past 14 years.
Favorite local restaurant: Emmett's
Last movie you rented: I don't know. The last movie I saw was Catch Me If You Can.
CD in your car right now: U2
Last book read: Seabiscuit
Drink you would buy a girl in a bar: Some sort of cocktail.
Ideal date for under $20: A trip to the lake.
Dream concert you would like to attend: The Rolling Stones
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: Jesus, I don't know. Oh, wait, Maid in Manhattan.
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? I don't watch that show.
How does it feel knowing anybody that shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? Marvelous.

Fill in the blank:
1. Belly piercings are sexy, but eyes are sexier.
2. Every afternoon, I like to go to the gym.

Short answer:
1.As an owner of thoroughbreds, is there anything better than having one of your horses win a race? Oh yes. Taking a beautiful woman out on a date.
2.You've been in Kentucky for 14 years. Is there anything you still miss about Ireland? My family.
3.If you moved back to Ireland tomorrow, what would you miss about Kentucky? My way of life.

Blue Steel

David Peel

Age: 31
Status: Single, Never Married, No Kids
Height/Weight: 6'4"/ 195lbs.
Employment: Law Enforcement
Originally from: San Bernadino, CA
Favorite local restaurant: Portabella's
Last movie rented: The Royal Tenenbaums
CD in your vehicle right now: Limp Bizkit
Last Book read: The Bluegrass Conspiracy
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: Rock Lobster
Ideal date for under $20: $0.99 Happy Meal and a room at The Sportsmen's Lodge.
Dream concert you would like to attend: Bon Jovi
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: When Harry Met Sally
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to reveal before the auction?
Yes, my real name is Bobby Carlucci.
How does it feel knowing anybody that shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? Unbelievable.

Fill in the blank:
1.Piercings are sexy, but tattoos are sexier.
2.Every afternoon, I like to hold my stick.

Short Answer:
1.When you are arresting a perp, do you prefer the cuffin' or the stuffin'? I would say, the stuffin'.
2.And what about in the bedroom? HmmmI think I will invoke my rights. I want a lawyer. Preferably one that is tall, blonde, and tan.
3.Given your line of work, we gotta know, what is your favorite donut? I don't really like the donuts; I prefer the holes.

British Invasion

Ian Stewart

Age: 34
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Height/Weight: 6'2"/ 160lbs.
Education: Ph.D. degree, University of Sheffield, United Kingdom
Employment: Post-Doctoral Researcher at the University of Kentucky
Originally from: Newcastle, England, home of the very popular beer, Newcastle Brown Ale.
Favorite local restaurant: Pazzo's, despite being run over by a car while I was leaving on Monday. Nothing broken thankfully-I can still make the auction!
Last movie you rented: Scarface. Highly recommended. Even Saddam Hussein would be frightened of Al Pacino if he saw this!
CD in your vehicle right now: I wish!! My car cost $200 and doesn't even have a cassette player. Some good radio stations though, I like 92.1, 101.5, 105.5, and 106.3.
Last movie you rented: The Lord of the Rings. It took me three months to get through, but it was worth it.
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: Newcastle Brown Ale of course!
Ideal date for under $20: A night at Buster's playing pool and drinking good beer, followed by a trip to Tolly Ho for deep frind mushrooms and sinus-clearingly strong horseradish sauce.
Ideal concert you would like to attend: Since there's no chance of a Beatles reunion, I would say Led Zeppelin.
Last "chick flick" you made it all the way through: About a Boy, with Hugh Grant. Surprisingly good.
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to reveal before the auction? Afraid not, though I can tell you now that I'm not a millionaire.
How does it feel knowing that anybody who shows up Thursday night with a checkbook and an ATM card can take you home? Terrifying, and yet strangely erotic.

Fill in the blank:
1.Nancy Cox is sexy, but Tina Fey is sexier.
2.Every afternoon, I like to wonder if anybody will ever fix that old clock on Main Street.

Short Answer:
1.What kind of research do you do? Basically, I watch birds to see which females pick which males as partners, and then try to figure out what it is that makes one male bird more attractive than another. Female birds also "cheat" on their partners, so I use DNA fingerprinting to try to find out who the "real" father of the chicks are. A bunch of us are also studying the impact of the West Nile Virus on local birds.
2.Damn cheating birds. Anyway, you are from the UK (United Kingdom) and you work for UK (University of Kentucky). Do you ever get confused? Like you wouldn't believe.
3.Who has the more passionate fans; UK basketball or Manchester United soccer? They're both pretty rabid-I think the difference is that basketball attracts a higher proportion of female fans, and they're not shy!
4.Do people doing bad Austin Powers impressions annoy the hell out of you? Not at all, I think it's hilarious!!

Has all his own teeth

Ben Storey

Age: 25
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Height/Weight: 6'2"/ 180lbs.
Education: Bachelor's from Harvard
Employment: Defensemen for the Lexington Men O' War
Originally from: Ottawa, Ontario
Favorite local restaurant: Malone's
Last movie you rented: Office Space
CD in your vehicle right now: David Gray
Last book you read: A Beautiful Mind
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: I don't know. I guess I would ask her.
Ideal date for under $20: A country drive and a picnic
Dream concert you would like to attend: Led Zeppelin
Last "chick flick" you actually made it all the way through: Two Weeks Notice
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? No. I don't think so.
How does it feel knowing anybody who shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? All in the name of charity.

Fill in the blank:
1. Eyes are sexy, but attitude is sexier.
2. Every afternoon I like to play guitar.

Short Answer:
1. You have a degree from Harvard, are you far and away the smartest guy on the Men O' War? No, not really. Not far and away. We have a lot of pretty smart guys.
2.Do you have all your teeth? Yes. Some of them are chipped, but they are all mine. Guys do not lose their teeth as much as they used to.
3.Tell me a hockey fight story. One game I got into two fights in one game with the same guy.
4. So were you 2-0, 0-2, or 1-1? 2-0
5.Any advice for me if I get into a bar fight? Get the first punch in. That is important.
6.Should I try and pull their sweater of their head, or is that just for the ice? If you have time, you can do that, but I think it is probably more important to get the first punch in.

Culturally Conscious

Moby Waller

Age: 32
Status: Single, never married, no kids.
Height/Weight: 5'11"/ 180 lbs.
Education: Political Science degree from American University
Employment: Business owner of Pop Culture vintage store
Originally from: Born in Berkeley, CA, but moved to Lexington in 1978.
Favorite local restaurant: Emmett's of course (my brother is the chef there).
Last movie you rented: 24 Hour Party People, supposed to be great, but haven't watched it yet.
CD in your vehicle right now: On my store's turntable right now is EPMD's Strictly Business. CD in my truck's player is one by Air.
Last book you read: Invisible Monsters, by the guy who wrote Fight Club, also recently read a paperback from the 60s about stewardesses called Coffee, Tea, or Me?
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: Maybe a Cosmo or a Pinot Noir
Ideal date for under $20: Happy Hour at Ramsey's and swings at Woodland Park. Or a Chinese seafood buffet and a $1 movie.
Dream concert you would like to attend: The Doors, with opening acts Beck and Lucinda Williams.
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: America's Sweethearts maybe? Does Oz Season 2 count?
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? My life is not as glamorous as it often seems to others.
How does it feel knowing anybody who shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? Well, we all have a price I guess. And I have pepper spray in my male purse.

Fill in the blank:
1.Phoebe is sexy, but Rachel and Monica are sexier.
2.Every afternoon I like to solve the world's environmental problems and watch English soccer matches.

Short Answer:
1. Your store sounds pretty cool, what kind of stuff can I find there? Are you referring to Pop Culture, located at 204 Rosemont Garden, open Wed-Sun, noon-6pm, phone 277-1700. Well, I call it The Best Of Retro. I try to stock a little bit of something for everybody at reasonable prices, not "antique store prices."
2.Okay, Pop Culture expert, which television show is more important pop culture wise, The Simpsons or Saturday Night Live? They are both very important to U.S. culture, but worldwide, I would say it's The Simpsons, hands down (also that's one of my favorites). SNL has certainly popularized many catch phrases and characters (You Look Mahvelous, etc etc ), but The Simpsons' characters are known and beloved throughout the world, even in countries where they don't get all of the American-specific jokes.
3.Do you belong to any organizations, social, charitable, or otherwise? Obviously, I must mention that I am International Vice President of the Stephen Urkel Fan Club. Other than that, I love animals, and have volunteered a bit at the Animal Shelter. I recently took in an all-black stray kitty who is now my store's mascot. He goes by various names, including Super Kitty, Crazy Kitty, and Big Daddy Kane.
4.How does a political science degree translate to owning a retro/vintage/antique store? Well, I went to college to be a lawyer, but thank heavens I came to my senses. The more I've learned about politics and lawyers, the more I've kind of come to detest them, but in a nice way. I taught myself finance and the stock market, and that led ultimately to me being a floor trader in the option pits of Chicago during the late 90s' huge bull market. I started Pop Culture after the stress of the markets burned me out a bit, I wanted something a bit more relaxing and fun.

Lay down the law

Jonathan Weatherby, Jr.

Age: 33
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Vitals: 5'9"/ 200lbs.
Education: University of Kentucky-JD
Employment: Attorney
Originally from: Louisville
Favorite Local Restaurant: Desert Moon
Last movie you rented: Barbershop
CD in your vehicle right now: The Fix by Scarface
Last book you read: Pimp by Iceberg Slim
Drink you would buy a girl at a bar: Cosmopolitan
Ideal date for under $20: Six pack and a bucket of chicken!
Dream concert you would like to attend: Prince
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: The Other Sister
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? I also do not own a castle in France.
How does it feel knowing anybody who shows up Thursday with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? I didn't know "home" was a guarantee in the equation.

Fill in the blank:
1.Lucy Liu is sexy, but Selma Hayek is sexier.
2.Every afternoon I like to be auctioned off for charity.

Short Answer:
What kind of law do you practice? Primarily employment law.
If you were on trial for a major crime, which fictional attorney would want to represent you? Atticus Finch.
When was the last time you exchanged briefs? I am currently involved in that process.

New in Town

Keith White

Age: 27
Status: Single, never married, no kids
Height/Weight: 5'10''/ 180 lbs.
Education: MBA Harvard Business School, BS Industrial Engineering, Kansas State U.
Employment: Manager of Competitive Strategy for Lexmark Consumer Products
Originally from: Overland Park, Kansas
Favorite local restaurant: Probably one I haven't tried yet since I moved here recently.
Last move you rented: Mulholland Drive
CD in your vehicle right now: The Definitive Otis Redding box set disc 3 (Favorites: Track 23 -"Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay," Track 8-original version of "Hard to Handle")
Last book you read: High Fidelity. If you read a book, then watch the movie, the movie will disappoint you. I say watch the movie and then, if you like it, read the book. That way each is a pleasant surprise.
Drink you would by a girl at a bar: The one she responds with when I ask her what she wants, of course!
Ideal date for under $20: One bottle of wine, one carry-out order of General Tso's Chicken to split, and a rented video we never get around to watching.
Dream concert you would like to attend: Stevie Ray Vaughn in an Austin saloon.
Last "chick flick" you actually sat all the way through: Titanic. No, not when it came out! I saw it last month for the first time.
Do you have any Joe Millionaire type big secret you want to share before the auction? A man has to keep a little mystery.
How does it feel knowing anybody that shows up Thursday night with a checkbook or an ATM card can take you home? Like a character in a scary movie: I don't know what's behind the door but I'm compelled to look. I shiver with anticipation.

Fill in the blank:
1.Making love is sexy, but staying the night is sexier.
2.Every afternoon I like to nap.

Short Answer:
Pop Quiz Questions from the Wonderlic Test used by NFL teams on potential draftees.
1.A train travels 20 ft. in 1/5 of a second. How many feet does it travel in 3 seconds? 300 ft.
2.A boy is 17 and his sister is twice as old as he is. When the boy is 23, how old will the sister be? 40-years-old.n