copyright Bill Widener 2000

Krisp Kreme?

Recent perusal of your magazine - capped by Matt Simpson's comments on your doughnut debate - require that I remind all who read these pages that there is no such flippin' word as "crispy." The word is "crisp." At best "crispy" would imply "nearly crisp". For those who find need of such a term, I suggest the British coinage "crispish" (ask Kate Savage at Scarborough Fare). At worst "crispy" evokes Pauly Shore portraying some newly arrived Oriental restauranteur in San Francisco circa 1889 ("you like egg roll, Round-eye Buddy? Very crispy!")... and I'm sure that in these times no one wishes to keep alive such scurrilous stereotypes.

So please, everyone, abandon the vicious cultural idiocy represented by the pseudo-neologism "crispy" and let's move together into a new age of political and grammatical correctness.

Nell Clipper


Throughout this year's protracted battle for the election, media periodically showcased voices calling for "closure" and "an end to the nation's pain" over the election's uncertain outcome. Republicans argued for it because to them it meant a b-line back to the reins of the nation. Media pushed for it - I speculated - because their corporate sponsors wanted the public convinced that it wasn't worth it paying attention long enough to notice that the outcome of this election had been bought and paid for by the likes of them before it had begun.

But what disturbed me was hearing increasingly from average Jane that finality was more important than figuring out who won the election. It was as if with each law-twisting legal maneuver and its accompanying revelation about our entire system of government's vulnerability to the manipulations of a child-like power game, we shrunk away from the mirror and shrieked "Eek! We are ugly and weak - take it away so we can return to our holiday shopping!"

And another thing - as a Nader voter, I had sympathy for the assertion that the Dems and Repubs lack substantive differences these days, but I must say that the Repubs have truly distinguished themselves in this election as being far more willing to take a cheap shot. Universal backroom power games aside, at least the Democrats tried to make coherent sense throughout the battle, "trusting the people" to think for themselves and recognize a pile of horse manure when they smelled it.

Perrin de Jong

Another Wish

My name is Greg Doggett, and I am an active member of a local and statewide social justice organization called Kentuckians For The Commonwealth (KFTC). My response to your invitation to be a part of the ACE Wish List is very belated, but I thought that I still would write you because my wish only can be fulfilled by ACE Magazine.

I find most mainstream media coverage of politics and political events to be extremely shallow and rather conservative. That is why I usually turn to the alternative press when I want to learn about what is going on in local, state, national, and global politics. When reporter Alex DeGrand was on your staff, I always could open an issue of ACE Magazine knowing that I would find at least one well written and insightful article on the local political scene. Since Alex left, I almost never see examples of political journalism in ACE Magazine.

It would be great to read once again articles in ACE Magazine about the Lexington Living Wage Campaign, the city's solid waste workers organizing and fighting for hazardous duty pay and retirement, and local political protests, all of which Alex wrote about during his short time with ACE Magazine. I am asking that ACE Magazine again cover local politics and political events. Please do not allow the Lexington Herald-Leader to become my sole source for local political news. Thank you for your time.


Gregory H. Doggett

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The Aisle Seat

I only made one New Year's resolution for 2000. It was pretty modest (since I've learned ambition in resolutions usually leads to disappointment). I resolved to see more movies in theaters.

It's a holiday tradition I'm glad to say I've continued all year.

With the advent of DVD, pay-per-view, and roughly 432 movie channels, I'd gotten too lazy to GO to the movies, and I needed to mend my ways.

TV screens are fine for sitcoms (and 90 percent of chick flicks), but for a REAL movie, there's no substitute for surroundsound and a screen that's at least as big as your house.

The first movie I saw, post-resolution, was Any Given Sunday. And it offered all the positive reinforcement I needed. Because Oliver Stone -while he may be a crackpot, at least he's an egalitarian crackpot who believes in onscreen male nudity. And while those scenes retained a modicum of impressiveness on DVD (if the fact that Michael, my hairdresser, collapsed in a swoon counts for anything), they were positively INSPIRING at two-stories high.

There are disadvantages to theater-going, of course. Like the fact that the public's there. Usually they talk too much (having been raised on VCRs, they obviously mistake theaters for their living room, where moronic commentary is clearly the rule of the day). Many times, they bring small children. Frequently, they have personal hygiene problems. But a lot of these distractions can be weathered. And strangers can frequently be dissuaded from invading your perimeter if you remember the handy response to "is anyone sitting here?" is always an unequivocal, "Yes.... The Lord."

You can complain about the expense, but $4.75-$8.00 is really a remarkably cheap escape from... well, whatever it is you're trying to escape. And if you think of it as akin to the difference between listening to your favorite band on your stereo, and seeing them live (or maybe, for some of you, the difference between a televised ballgame and one in a stadium or arena), it pays off.

And if that's not justification enough, you can do what a pal and I pulled off the other night, which was to pay for the first movie, and then sneak into another when it ended.

It requires a little reconnaissance, and a little luck, but the rewards can be vast (in this case, a net savings of $15 big ones).

I'll never do it again, though.

First, because I'm far too old to get nailed for a juvenile stunt straight out of South Park.

Second, I clearly don't have the disposition a life of crime requires. The tension of planning "the Caper" as we sat through the first movie gave me a stomach ache, and by the second half of the second movie, I'd developed a steady, radiating pain in my left chest. I kept expecting the clamp of the cold steel fingers of a mighty usher to descend on my shoulder at any given moment and then haul us ignominiously to the curb with a resounding boot to the ass and hearty, "AND STAY OUT!!!"

Third, karmically speaking, I'm still pretty convinced that I was in fact, stealing (because I was). And this is still weighing on my conscience. No amount of rationalization - like the fact that they OWE me a few freebies after JAR JAR BINKS - can convince me otherwise.

So unless your constitution is more guilt proof than mine, I can't recommend this. But I do stick by my advice to turn off the Home Entertainment Center and the PlayStations, and get to the theaters.

Sure, we may be headed into the peak period for suicide. Sure, there may be a recession right around the bend. And ok, a resolute few are insisting that the world will indeed end on the real dawn of the next millennium in a week or so. But for now, save me the aisle seat.

And enjoy this issue's preview of the upcoming Hollywood Holiday Movie. We suffered the sins of Sandra Bullock for you.

Because we know the very best gifts are the ones that require sacrifice.