I Am a Doughnut
If it’s Ace out, it’s raining out. From the very first Front Porch Friday, which sparked an inland hurricane, to this morning’s drizzly Annual Donut Wars—- which serves to whet the appetite (so to speak) for the annual Best of Lex Ballot (on stands next week).
Ace Intern Matt Sparks (using his phone calculator) reports that the margins were fairly close this year: but Spaldings was (again) declared the Champ. There is a reason there is no longer a doughnut category in Best of Lexington. They retired it. Several years back.
And lo, the Winner was eaten.
There were no Spoils of Victory. Even hostess Pat didn’t get a single crumb of Spaldings.
Below is the excerpt from Rob Bricken’s 2000 coverstory on the first Ace Donut War:
“In a sense, doughnuts are all filled—with democracy. All the people, all the bakers, all the eaters, all the doughnuts—our diversity is our strength. With all our unique skills and ideas and flavors, we can do anything. But if we squabble over party politics, or age or gender, or topping, nothing gets accomplished. And no one gets to eat.
Together in a tightly-packed dozen we stand, but divided we fall. When JFK took his trip to Germany and said, ‘Ich bein ein Berliner,’ he thought he was saying, ‘I am a citizen of Berlin.’ In fact what he said was ‘I am a doughnut,’ because a Berliner is a type of doughnut.
Many people have thought this was a social gaffe, but now, I’m not so sure. I think JFK was a dougnut, like we’re all doughnuts. In this light, I’d like to end with a little song:
You may say I’m a doughnut
but I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll eat us
And the world will live as one.”
Council Member Doug Martin was perhaps the most JFK-like of all this morning’s esteemed panelists, as he adjudicated the pastry proceedings as a true, dedicated Public Servant—shortly prior to departing on a trip to ride rollercoasters with his family.
We bid him a fond farewell with (what he is now convinced is the standard Ace salvo for greetings and departures): “hope you don’t throw up!”
It is like Aloha. You can use it for “hello” or “goodbye.”
We would use King’s Island’s slogan—- wake up and smell the funnelcakes—- but it appears they’ve trademarked it. And we prefer not to get sued.
[DonutWars photos from Freedom Fighter Keegan Frank are at http://www.facebook.com/AceWeeklyFans. Join us, won’t you?]
*Grammatical note: In print, we typically spell out “doughnuts.” But brevity is the soul of the online community, so both (acceptable) variants were used this year.