BY KEVIN FARIS
Before I join the 14 hour Super Bowl pre-game show (already in progress), I wanted to share a few thoughts not just on the game, but on the day itself. This morning I watched Tom Brokaw interview Ronald Reagan(don’t worry, it was a replay) and old Ronnie described the Super Bowl as uniquely American. Now, I don’t agree with Reagan on a lot, besides this statement I was a fan of his performance in as George Gipp in “Knute Rockne-All American”, but he is right on here. The Super Bowl is uniquely American in that it celebrates a sport that is pretty much only played by Americans and in America, it features a gluttonous amount of food, and one of the larger secondary focuses is on advertisements purchased by companies who will probably be filing for bankruptcy next month. Let’s take a look!!
1. The Jingo Element
Football is not an Olympic sport, nor is it a sport that is that popular in other countries. While baseball is America’s game, football is really America’s sport. Outside of the occasional Samoan, you do not have the influx of foreign players you see in baseball or basketball. Other countries don’t play it or send players. Football is America’s sport, and if someone at your party calls it American Football, please punch them in the face.
2. Gluttonous Gorging
To be honest, this entire post is just an excuse to share the link I found to the BACON EXPLOSION (warning! If you are a vegetarian DO NOT CLICK THE LINK). This link has pics, which is even better. I don’t know what to say . I am disappointed I only found out about it this morning so my wife does not have time to prepare it for today (to be honest, when I showed her the pictures she almost threw up). The BACON EXPLOSION is beautiful and frightening, like a unicorn that breathes fire. I would love to see a nutritional breakdown. Would any other country even think about cooking something like this, let alone eating it? Maybe the Germans.
3. Bankrupt Corporate America
If you go to the same kind of parties I do, then everyone hushes up during the commercials and everyone also offers an immediate judgement. Let me save you the trouble: Budweiser, Pepsi, and some random Internet job search engine will have the best commercials. They always do. Every year. By the way, if I see one commercial from a company that accepted bail out money, I am officially texting Barack Obama and complaining. I get enough text messages from him, he can take one of mine for a change.
4. BACON EXPLOSION!!!!
Sorry, I just can’t let this go. My favorite part of the first time I read this was when it slowly dawned on me that they were about to roll it up. It was like the end of “The Matix” for Neo. All at once, it all slowed down and I understood everything about life.
It might seem like I am ripping on the Super Bowl, but I’m not. I love it. I love the breakdowns, the gambling, the food, the parties, everything about it. It brings people together, which is always good, especially for those who have been trapped inside their homes because of the storm. It provides a link to our soldiers overseas that allows them to connect with all of us stateside. And Bruce Springsteen will be there. Nothing with The Boss can be that bad.
So go to your party or tune in at home. Everyone else will be watching. And if anyone out there is willing to make a BACON EXPLOSION, please contact me. Please. Pretty please.
For the record, I am taking the Cardinals +7, but I am a little worried because that seems to be a popular pick.