No. Im not going to review Los Lonely Boys. You all went to that show anyway, I couldnt even get no stinking ticket, man. But I did go see the X-Ecutioners last Thursday. Yep, me and all the dopest white kids in Lexington, sporting their brand new jerseys and trucker hats. (Nothing says hip-hop like an Ashton Kutcher hat).
The Wylde Bunch opened for the accomplished DJs sending many hands into the air to raise the roof. They had a full band, back up singers dressed in Safari gear, and three MCs. When they started there were more people on stage than in the audience. They gathered everybody together and their sheer giddiness was contagious. They sampled everyone from JZ, Brush Your Shoulders Off, to Billy Joel. Thats right. Billy Joel. My jaw hit the ground when they started singing Big Shot. They even taught us their Wylde Bunch hand signal, so we could raise the roof properly. (Its more fun when everyone participates the right way).Taz, one of the MCs took his shirt off at the end of their set, (a la ladies soccer championship), proving that once and for all, they truly are a wylde bunch. (So wild they dont even have to spell correctly). It also proved that if you really want somebody to do something, you can will it with your mind. That right there made my evening.
They were followed by, Northstate, three chicks from Long Island who rapped. I know what you are thinking, next came the four horsemen of the apocalypse, flames, damnation, and the beginning hell on earth, but really they werent bad. Actually they have remarkably captured the sound and style of the Beastie Boyz. Captured
whatever, they had tight rhymes, and even looked cool bouncing their knees in the air in their baggy pants.
Face it, girl Beastie Boyz knock-offs are way better than the possible alternative, lets say, girl Menudo knock-offs. When brainstorming of ways to set their performance apart, my friends suggested that they have a vicious pillow fight in the middle of the set. (Time to get new friends is right). I am looking forward to their Eight Mile, depicting the trials and tribulations in their struggle to break out of the mall.
And now for the main event, The X-Ecutioners. Their turn tables were set up side by side, with Rob Swift in the middle, and Grandmaster Roc Raida and Total Eclipse flanking each side. For those of you who dont know, DJs use their turntables as instruments, continuously mixing, and remixing beats to perform a whole new song out of a lot of different songs. The records they used went from Little Kim to Rob Base, and countless other recognizable beats, both past and present.
I now will attempt to be-box their sounds individually so you can meld them together in your brain. Rob Swift was like, whacka-whacka-wiggity-wack-wack. Then Roc Raida was like chicka-chicka-chicka-wow-chicka-wow. And then Total Eclipse came in and he was like, bow-whack-bow-whack-bow-whack. Okay, so now that you understand exactly what they sounded like, it is important to comment on their DJ abilities. These three have been around for a long time and are clearly professionals. Not only can they mix beats, they put on a good show. Rob Swift can change records in the blink of an ear. Roc Raida uses the cross-fader with his mouth, and Total Eclipse can scratch records, backwards and through his legs.
Their show was as physically challenging as it was musically talented. For those of you who think that spinning records is as simple as playing them, youre completely wrong and I pity you. It was a show to see. If they ever come back it is definitely worth the cover. And if you dont know , now you know. n