Saturday Night Fever

There's been a lot of talk about what, exactly, is wrong with the University of Kentucky Men's Basketball team. Every night on the call-in shows, every day in the newspapers, and every hour on the Internet there is something dedicated to finding out why they seem to be losing at a much more frequent rate than normal.

Some people think Tubby needs to play Rashard Carruth more. A lot of people think they need to pick up the tempo, push the ball up the court, and play the fast-paced style that many fans in the area like. And, of course, there is the small (but vocal) minority that want to see Tubby leave and bring in either A) Billy Donovan B) Billy Donovan C) Billy Donovan, or my favorite D) John Pelphrey.

For everyone who thinks hiring an assistant coach with little to no head coaching experience for one of the highest profile jobs in college basketball is a good idea, I point you towards Chapel Hill, North Carolina and their head coach Matt "Oh My God Coaching is Hard!" Doherty. I'm not sure if any of these are good ideas, but who knows, they might work. Regardless, something has to be done immediately.

The Wildcats need to either reschedule all their Saturday games to Sunday or start winning a lot more consistently - they are ruining my weekends!

Lexington is not a big city, but it is also not a small town. In fact, it is enough of both that in the end, it is neither. Because of this, the only game in town - whether it be football season or basketball season - is the UK Wildcats.

Now, I have pretty much gotten used to the football team losing. Sure, every now and again they win six or seven games and maybe go to a bowl, but the history of the team shows that they lose (a lot) on a pretty consistent basis. When I watch or attend a football game, I root for the Cats, but deep down, I'm pretty sure they will lose. And when they do, I, and probably most of the Wildcat faithful, are able to go on and enjoy the weekend.

The UK basketball team, however, is expected to win (a lot) on a pretty consistent basis. That has not been the case this season. The games they lose during the week don't bother me that much. I watch the game, remain sort of pissed, then I go to bed. When I get up the next day, I think that maybe the loss was a dream, but then I read the paper. I go on to work and do my job, still bummed about the game, but am able to get through the day with relatively little problem.

When the Cats lose on the weekend - such as the Mississippi State game, the Alabama game, and most recently, the Georgia game- they more or less ruin the weekend for everyone involved.

It's Saturday, so you don't want to go to bed, you want to go out, get some dinner, maybe hang out with some friends, or go to a bar. When you do this, there is at least one person that will say, "Hey! Did you watch that game?" This, of course, leads to a large amount of swearing, followed by analysis of the game, suggestions to Tubby, and a complete bringing down of the room. Nothing kills a good time like talking about a UK loss.

There is, of course, always one person who just tries to block it all out, the guy who says, " I don't want to talk about it" and tries to enjoy his weekend. This is a fruitless endeavor, because only a few minutes later he is discussing what he thinks is wrong with UK's 3 point defense and exploring the possibility of shipping Keith Bogans out west like we did to Roderick Rhodes.

From Fayette Mall to Hamburg Place, from Applebee's to Applebee's to Applebee's, and from Suggin's to Rosebud, there are people having this conversation.

Another Saturday night, another UK loss, and my roommate is yelling, "Unacceptable, Tubby! Unacceptable!" to no one in particular.

So, what will Athletic Director Larry Ivy do? He will do nothing, because-and let's be honest here-I probably have a better shot at being UK's Athletic Director next year than Larry Ivy does. Everything sticks to this guy. He is the opposite of Bill "Bulletproof" Clinton, he is the anti-teflon man.

So, what will the future UK Athletic Director do? Well, my suggestion is to move the Saturday games to Sunday, after the NFL season is over.

This would kill two birds with one stone, since there is nothing on TV on Sunday during the day until baseball starts. I cannot watch the NBA until the playoffs start, and I have no desire for NASCAR. (If I want to watch crazy rednecks drive fast and out of control, I will take New Circle road out to Fayette Mall.)

This new scheduling of games would preserve the quality of not just my Saturday night, but the Saturday nights of everyone in the Commonwealth. And we'll still have something to make small talk about when we're out, "So, how do you think the Cats will do tomorrow?"

I guess the easier thing would be to start Carruth, bench Bogans, play more up- tempo, and just start WINNING THE DAMN GAMES!! At least, according to the people I see out. But, if that is not going to happen, consider my scheduling ideas and at least let me have my Saturday nights. Please.