First I apologize for being so far behind the times and out of touch that I am only just now writing about what must be one of the biggest boondoggles I have ever lived to see. I assumed (wrongly) when I first heard about the proposed sewage running through our city's reservoir that our council members would slam dunk the proposal into the nearest hazardous waste receptacle; instead I find out not only did they approve it, but that they did it with open eyes and by a pretty strong 9-5 vote.
Think about it; they may as well run the water lines in your house up through your toilet. I can see it now, a combination drinking fountain, eye-wash center, bidet and crapper all in one economical, color-coordinated, space-saving, self-contained apparatus.
As you sit on your new combination drinking fountain/eye-wash center/bidet/crapper, try to remember what GROWTH really stands for around here: Greed Raping Our Wonderful Town's Heritage.
I propose some new bumper stickers for the concerned citizens of Lexington. Please choose one or all of the following:
The tried and true "Growth: Destroys Bluegrass Forever" -or-
"Growth: Destroys Bluegrass For Nothing But Greed" -or-
"Growth: Destroys Bluegrass For No Good Reason" -or-
my favorite, "GROWTH: Greed Raping Our Wonderful Town's Heritage."
If anybody starts making these last three and selling them, then I, as originator of these last three phrases, hereby claim a 50/50 split of the profits and I pledge that half of my half will go to fight further Unwanted, Unnecessary, and Undesirable development. Thank you for letting me ventilate.
Charles A. Bowsher
Hold the Nails
Sam I am-I will not eat green eggs and ham ... and nails? A disgruntled employee at Cumberland Gap Provisions Co. of Middlesboro, Ky., recently gave the Dr. Seuss rhyme a new twist when he put nails in ham products distributed throughout six states, including Kentucky.
Dangerous, yes, but compared to all the other stuff in ham, nails may not be much worse. Pork products already contain many other unappetizing, harmful pathogens such as listeria, dysentery, cholera, toxoplasmosis, and trichinosis, as well as traces of the hormones and antibiotics that pigs are fed to keep diseases down and profits up.
A survey of 451 federal inspectors conducted by Public Citizen, the Government Accountability Project, and the American Federation of Government Employees showed that 206 inspectors who responded to the survey said that there were weekly or monthly instances when they did not take direct action against feces, vomit, metal shards, or other contamination found on or in animal products.
Clearly, the employee's action was mean-spirited and malicious, but the worst ingredient in ham is animal cruelty. Pigs are confined to filthy, crowded stalls barely larger than their own bodies. Their tails are chopped off, their teeth are removed with pliers, and male pigs are castrated-all without anesthetics. At the slaughterhouse, pigs are scalded, hung upside down, and bled to death, often while still conscious.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)
No, we haven't hired a new Associate Editorbut our masthead does reflect a name change at the top this week.
That's because, as many readers know, Eloise Hamilton Campbell and David Longenecker tied the knot on New Year's Eve, at the chapel at Christ Church Cathedral.
The Reverend Canon Christopher B. Platt officiated (who wrote last year's wedding cover story, "Committing Matrimony").
The bride wore (of course) Vera Wang.
Appropriately enough, they got married just in time for our annual wedding issue - which gives us a great opportunity to shamelessly use their lovely photographs.
And we co-opted one of the groomsmen - perennial Best Man Kevin Faris -to write this week's cover story (although a disclaimer appears at the end noting that he's just writing generally about life as a Best Man, as opposed to discussing the particulars of any specific wedding).
Now that we're battle-scarred veterans in Wedding Planning, Ace offers our heartfelt congratulations to David and Eloise.