They Work Hard for the Money
So hard for it honey........
by Rob Bricken

Once again, we're trotting out the Bluegrass Bachelors in the name of charity. Last time: puppies and kittens. This time: horses (Thoroughbred Adoption and Retirement Association).

Most of them will be in attendance at Taste of Ace (Friday, May 11, 7 pm, Victorian Square) - goodnaturedly schlepping food and drink, all for a good cause.

They won't be for sale, but you're free to enjoy the view. (Don't touch the merchandise, please. We plan to use them again for the Real Best of Lexington party this Fall. Also, we rent them out for weddings and bar mitzvahs... for a small fee.)

Are they married yet? Have they caught anything contagious? Think 90-days is too soon to check with the Bluegrass Bachelors? Think again! When you're one of the most desired men in the Tri-state area, things are always on the move! For instance, do you know which bachelors are still unattached? What things are sticking to Sticky right now? Which bachelors can no longer leave the county? Which bachelor got sub-contracted out? Read on!

Kevin Faris

Current Status: Despite the best efforts of Eloise Campbell and the ACE Staff, I am still single.

Views on the event: The Bachelor Auction was one of the most fun nights I have had. I was a little nervous at first, but after a few drinks, it was a lot easier. You do not know how to respond when girls are telling you they want to buy you. It is just a little awkward.

How was the date?: I think I probably had the best date. She was a very nice, attractive, and intelligent girl. She was a big UK fan, I think she was more interested in the tickets than me, but that was cool. We had a drink before the date to get to know each other, and we had fun. I have some nice pictures of us at the auction that my mom took, so if she wants a copy, drop me a line.

Message to the World: Life is good. A friend of mine's dad told me that and it is true. The first warm day of Spring is good. Bacon is good. A nap on a rainy afternoon is good. Star Wars is good. Macaroni and Cheese is good. Having friends over for a cookout is good. Bouncing a ball is good. Life is good.

Tyler Mainous

Current Status: Single

Would You be In the Auction Again?: Looks like I'm gonna have to. I'm as single as it gets.

How did your date go?: We never went. I ended up going to the UK game by myself. She couldn't make it because she was out of town. We tried to reschedule for the next game, but she couldn't make it once again. HOWEVER, we did go on a pre-date dinner that was very nice.

How did the auction change your life?: I got to meet some very nice people as well as some very low-class redneck sluts. At least I was entertained.

Dan Thompson

Current Status: Still single, but actively trying to change that.

Would you do it again?: I would do it again in a heartbeat. The event was fabulous and my dates were outstanding.

How did your date go?: "We went on four dates, two dinners at Regatta, Furlongs, and Cooker." But apparently no dice.

How did the auction change your life?: By being paid money to go on a date, I have blown my amateur status.

News since the Auction: I was recognized as a most eligible bachelor by inmates at the Pulaski County Jail. The inmates were watching T.V. and saw the news clip interviewing me. Now in court several of the prisoners recognize me as a "Bachelor" and inquire as to my dating status.

Your message to the world: Approach life like baseball. You only need to be right 1/3 of the time and you can be in the hall of fame. Rainouts are free days. Personal scratching and spitting is appropriate at all times. Being shut out is not always bad and a home run does not always win the game.

Lonnie Sheets

Current status: Single

How Was the Auction?: I've never been in a situation where I was actually getting embarrassed from all the attention. It was a great place for a single man to be!

How Was the Date?: I did have one nice lady ask me on a date at the auction, and of all people to run into.... Anyway it was a nice time. Advice from Forrest, "That's all I got to say about that."

Your Message to the World: "Life is a journey not a destination."

Charles Ellis

Current status: Single

How Was the Auction?: I had fun, but I like attention. I was a little embarrassed but it was for charity and it was great meeting available women.

How Did the Auction Change Your Life?: Well, people congratulate me for being "Bachelor of the Year." And they kept asking me if the girl I am with bought me.

Interesting Tidbit: Well, while I was in Italy I got an email from my date. She informed me that through a co-worker she had negotiated my sale to another bidder. She had gotten back together with her boyfriend (so I guess her plan worked).

Your Message to the World: You should be should find out what you like to do and do it. [Expletive deleted] the world! [Expletive deleted] money! You won't need to take vacations. Be crazy! And can we have a little compassion? Can we love each other and ourselves? Loving ourself is not selfish and can we relax? And let's guide our children! Tell them you love them! Don't make them be what you want! Pay attention, listen rather than talk. Old people are cool, so are teachers! Other cultures are cool. Go for a walk without a walkman. What's your agenda? Can't we make this win-win? We are lucky. We get to eat and have a place to live. A lot of the world doesn't.

Nathan Slovis

Current Status: Not Single

Whaaaaaa? Really Was it the Auction?: Here's the scoop. I had one of the receptionists at the clinic bid for me at the auction for a client that was apparently interested in me. I did know this client because I had worked on her horse on several occasions and enjoyed her company as a client-doctor relationship ONLY. I had no idea that she wanted to get to know me as more than just her horse's doctor. The receptionists told me that night that the tickets were not for her but for the client and me to go out. I called her the next day after the auction and we actually went out on several occasions before the actual "bachelor auction date" for Baxter Black. We have enjoyed each other's company and have a lot more in common that I could have ever imagined. She has horses and has dogs. What more could I ask for? She even cooks. And to top it all off she can put up with all of my nonsense and long business hours. We are still together and she may even come to the Taste of Ace reception (That's if I can drag her there).

Chris Marek

Status: I am definitely still single. Everyone seems to have his or her own opinion on why, from being too picky, to only wanting what I can't have.

How did your date go?: She was great, very nice, we had a nice dinner and conversation.

How did the auction change your life?: It didn't really change my life, other than occasionally getting recognized as "a bachelor" at the hospital/church/etc... I went to church this past Sunday, and afterward had this really nice girl approach me and said how familiar I looked. Then she remembered seeing me in the paper.

How's the dating life?: Really the only date that I've been on since the auction was with this really sweet/cute waitress at [.....]. I was out with a few friends and could not stop looking at her. Finally, with the pushing from everyone else I asked her out. Went to dinner, talked, mostly 20 questions about each other/and family. She was very interesting, and cute, but we never went out again.


Current Status: Single

How was the big date?: We had a splendid time. Absolutely splendid.

How did the Auction change your life?: The date eventually gave me a TV. Now I spend more time at home and less on dates.

Events Since the Auction. I made the cover of News4U oops. Is that a rival? (Hardly..... Incidentally, Ace has heard from reliable sources that Sticky is now one of the few men in the 21st century without naval experience to get scurvy. The link to News4U is not known at this time.)

Message to the world: When someone gives you lemons, squeeze them into your Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum.

Pat McClure

Current Status: I get a fat paycheck, I own a car with a leather interior, I own my own home in a golf community, I'm a single lawyer, and I have a puppy. What's missing here?

How was the big date: It went real well for me. We never made it to the basketball game, but we sure had a lot of drinks. We made it close to the basketball game. Also, I'd like to point out that though my date was to Suggin's, since I said in my interview I'd take her to the Merrick Inn, that's where I took her.

How did the Auction change your life?: It reminded me what a whore I am.

Big Events since the Auction: I bought a house. See above for details.

Message to the world: See above, ladies, see above.

Ben Van Meter

Current Status: Single

How was the Auction?: The auction was loads of fun for me and full of unexpected, pleasant surprises. For one thing, I met more interesting and attractive women that night than I realized existed in Central Kentucky. (I now realize that my surprise in this area is because I don't get out enough!) I think all of 'the bachelors' were really flattered by such a great turnout, in spite of the weather. I know I was! Besides having been 'purchased' by a lovely woman and the subsequent fun of my date with her...

Events since the Auction: I had the good fortune to renew some old acquaintances at the auction. Time will tell, but that may turn out to be the very best thing to come out of my participation in the auction!

Message to the World: My hat is off to Eloise and ACE for a job well done!

Meet the Bluegrass Bachelors in the flesh (so to speak) at Taste of Ace, Friday, May 11 at 7 pm at VICTORIAN SQUARE. Call 859/225-4889, ext 224 for tickets. (We are not certain that we will be able to accommodate ticket sales at the door. The chefs have required an advance head count.)