Although the stereotypical Twi-Hard Twilight series fan might be a pale, adolescent tween, any visitor to the multiplex for any of the five installments of the series can attest to the fact that a significant part of the fan base is an over-21 population of women. Sometimes way, way over 21.
And given the trend in movie houses that now serve cocktails, a drinking game is clearly in order for the Series Finale, out this week, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn 2 (to be enjoyed by over-21 patrons who’ve responsibly designated a driver … and pledged not to harass the servers, or fellow movie-goers… or who are reading this at home a year from now when the Blu Ray is released). Any lingering partisan pettiness over Team Edward or Team Jacob can be put to rest. Shhhhh. Shhhhh, now. It’s almost over.
Take a sip every time:
-the camera lingers lovingly on a close-up of the moon
-a cheesy sound-effect is paired with an obvious CGI visual (animals, babies, etc)
-any Male in the audience laughs out loud at a CGI moment that’s obviously cued to be Emotional (this is a trick: there probably won’t be any males in the audience)
-a new vampire super-power is introduced
-anyone in the audience speculates loudly as to whether or not Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson have resolved their differences
Take a drink any time:
-a character shimmers
-anyone says the phrase “it’s a wolf thing”
-Dakota Fanning’s Vulturi Gal throws a head on the fire (two drinks if it’s a baby-head)
-an insignificant peripheral character is introduced in a clear set-up for a future spin-off/sequel/series
-an ethnic or international stereotype is perpetuated
-a song comes on that you are fairly sure has also been played on Grey’s Anatomy
-Bella gets a clue (this can be taken literally)
Finish your drink any time:
-Jake (Taylor Lautner) takes his shirt off
Alternate with a cup of coffee every time:
-Jake takes his pants off
-anyone says “Jake, put your clothes on.”
Call and alert your designated driver, or taxi, whenever:
– the entire auditorium erupts in a giant collective gasp
– more than half the audience laughs in nervous relief, followed by an exclamation of “I knew it!”
– more than half of the audience erupts in applause.
There are so many obvious themed drink directions to go with a menu
like this ….a Bloody Bella? A coffee nod to Washington State… But when we think Pacific Northwest, we all think Apples. They’re fresh and green like Bella, with a little allusion to the temptations of Adam and Even.
The Twi-Tini, The AppleTwiNi
One Part Vodka
One part apple juice (TreeTop comes from Washington)
One part apple or apple sour schnapps
Shake till the tin frosts.
Responsibly enjoy the evening like civilized adults!