Now that it appears everyone is safe from the 4.3 earthquake that rattled Kentucky today — prompting media coverage all the way out at the L.A. Times (where they know from earthquakes) — what measures should Kentuckians consider? A survival kit? Check the bottled water supplies? Preparations to shelter in place? Of course.
And after that, assemble your over-21 loved ones and responsibly designate a sober driver for The Kentucky Earthquake Social Media Drinking Game (or raid your survival kits, bust out the sleeping bags, and host the Kentucky Earthquake Drinking Game + Pajama Jammy Jam).
You will need:
-ample screens for everyone to enjoy (iPads, smartphones, even laptops will do);
-a libation of choice (it should, of course, contain Bourbon; this is a Kentucky earthquake, for God’s sake. Might we recommend the Election Night Old Fashioned or perhaps the Hurricane Sandy Frankenstorm? Recycling is eco-friendly.);
For one half hour, monitor mainstream media’s social media earthquake coverage.
Sip your drink every time:
-a media outlet asks, “did you feel that?”
-a story of more than 1000 words is linked to recount the lack of damages;
-any reporter mentions the Mayans;
-Biblical weather patterns are referenced by otherwise secular media;
-the Kentucky earthquake is referred to as a Tennessee earthquake (two sips if the Vols are referenced);
Take a drink any time:
-any member of Kentucky media makes a Jarrod Polson joke (“that wasn’t an earthquake…”)
-a reporter states the actual number of people who felt the quake (was it 200?);
-“end of days” or “end times” are mentioned;
-“Zombie Apocalypse” and “Walking Dead” jokes are made.
Take a shot if:
-Hurricane Sandy, Athena, and earthquakes are all mentioned in one tweet;
-anyone names the Kentucky earthquake.
Brew a strong pot of coffee if:
-Jim Cantore begins tweeting from anywhere within 100 miles of you.