First, There are no funnel cakes at MayFest, despite promises and a map outlining their location, provided to Ace earlier in the week.
Second, how are Mayor Newberry and Dudley Webb to blame for this travesty?
That remains to be seen.
For now, the Readers must be allowed to grieve.
1. Denial
There must be funnel cakes.
Maybe they’ve just moved them?
2. Anger
Where’s our motherfu…nnel cakes?!
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3. Bargaining
What do we want?!
Funnel cakes!
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When do we want ‘em?!
NOW!!
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Ace will make our OWN damn funnel cakes. Maybe the Biggest Funnel Cake in the World. ‘Cause this story ain’t over yet. It’s still being topped off, on twitter.













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