Sports Synopsis for Weekend of 01.11.2003

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Sports Synopsis
By Kevin Faris


 

Here are some random sports thoughts from the weekend and a few other thoughts that need to be expressed, put together while searching the Internet trying to figure out what exactly is a “chickenburger.”

Why is it that the Pittsburgh Steelers never seem to lose? Every year we find out they were “hosed” in some way and the loss was not their fault. Last year, after losing to the New England Patriots, wide receiver Hines Ward stated, “We pretty much went to the Super Bowl.” UhhhhhNo you didn’t. And you are not going this year either.

In the uproar over San Francisco Giants pitcher Livan Hernandez attacking a man with golf clubs last week is the fact that Hernandez is a Cuban immigrant. I remember 10 years ago only white guys, like Jack Nicholson, were attacking people with golf clubs. This is yet another example of how Tiger Woods has really opened up the game of golf to minorities.

Is anyone else tired of Tampa Bay Buccaneer Warren Sapp? During the 49ers/Bucs game this past Sunday, every time the Bucs did something on offense, defense, special teams, or even at the concession stands, the cameras cut to a shot of Sapp. Why? Why don’t we cut to the people that actually MADE the plays instead of the microphone/camera hog that Sapp has become.

Not being a religious man, thanks is still given to God for the little things. Last Sunday, for example, Buffalo wings. Oh, and the Girls Gone Wild videos.

During the Titans’ victory over the aforementioned Steelers, Titans running back Eddie George was knocked out of the game early in the third quarter with a concussion after coughing up his second fumble of the game. While George paced the sidelines, the announcing team wondered if Head Coach Jeff Fisher was going to put him back in the game. As my wingman No Chance stated, “Unless that hit knocked Eddie George back to 1998, there is no reason for him to go back in the game.”

After seeing in the paper and on television that the Harlem Globetrotters were coming to Rupp Arena Sunday, January 19th, it raised the question: why don’t we send them to the Olympics? Seriously, they obviously have experience against international competition, hence the name “Globetrotters” and they have been practicing together for a lot longer than any team of professionals America could send. And remember, one time they beat a team of robots. Of course, that was on an episode of Gilligan’s Island, but still it was an impressive victory nonetheless.

The University of Kentucky retired the jersey of the all-time leading scorer in UK basketball history, men’s or women’s, Valerie Still this past Sunday. She was the first woman in any UK sport to have this honor. The weird thing is she graduated in 1983. So, it has taken 20 years for her accomplishment to be recognized. That is pretty sad. The commitment that UK shows women sports is something that A.D. Mitch Barnhart may need to look at, when he isn’t too busy licking his wounds from the football coach fiasco. UK is the only school in the SEC that does not play its home games in the same place as the men. The potential for a Title IX lawsuit is there on the horizon.

Now that the Oakland Raiders have knocked the New York Jets out of the playoffs, can we please stop with the Chad Pennington/Joe Montana comparisons? This is really not fair to Pennington or the legacy that Saint Joe left behind. Saint Joe has performed his required 3 miracles: The 1979 Cotton Bowl, The “Catch”, and The Drive to beat the Bengals in 1989. Mr. Pennington, well, we are still waiting.

Superior special teams, relentless defense, and mistake-free offense. This is the recipe for success of Coach Jim Tressel, of the national champion Ohio State Buckeyes. If a perspective UK football coach stated this at a news conference he would be run out of town on a rail. For a supposedly “knowledgeable” fan base, UK fans are suckers for the sizzle over the steak. You know the style of play, basketball or football, preferred? The style that is entertaining? The kind that wins.

The fact that Chicago Cubs second basemen Ryne Sandberg was not elected into the Hall of Fame is a joke. This guy was the best second baseman in either league for a 10 year period from 1982-1992. He had 10 All-Star appearances and 9 Gold Gloves. He won an MVP and led the league in home runs in 1990. For some reason, a lot of voters seem to want to pretend the 1980s never happened.

The Miller Lite commercial where the two girls wrestle, pure genius. Yet, disappointing though, because the version where the girl says, “Let’s make out” is only played at night. Is this not America? We have a right to see girl-on-girl action, complete with my favorite beer, at all times of the day. Please, write your congressman.

In case you were not aware, the Southeastern Conference is very, very tough this year. Mississippi State, the supposed best team and a pre-season Final Four pick, is now 0-2. This means that a conference champ will probably have at least 4 losses and possibly 5. This means that UK, currently 10-3, will probably be very close to another 10-loss season. The Internet backlash is beginning as we speak.

It’s time to stop picking games in print. If you bet my picks last week, you lost a lot of money, but hey, they were for entertainment purposes only, so don’t complain. Out of the four teams left, the Raiders and the Philadelphia Eagles will probably meet in the Super Bowl, with the Eagles as champs. Picking them now virtually ensures they will lose, but perhaps by recognizing the jinx, it can now be reversed. We’ll see.

If anybody knows what a “chickenburger” is, please email me.

 



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